God: you can repeat everything you hear.
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) 21 november 2018
Parrot: humans are the worst and I’m probably gonna kill them in a flood soon.
God:
Parrot:
God: what’s it gonna take to keep this quiet?
Parrot: I wanna live in a Tropical Paradise.
[God creating spiders]
— regular matt (@matt___nelson) 18 juni 2016
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"
[god creating bees]
— flaubert flav (@themiltron) 8 april 2015
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”
[god creating dogs]
— flaubert flav (@themiltron) 12 februari 2016
what if wolves came in all kinda crazy shapes
Corgi: why are my legs so short?
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) 4 februari 2019
God: that’s just what legs look like.
Corgi: oh cool.
[giraffe walks by]
Corgi:
God: you weren’t supposed to see that.
God: what are they doing down there?
— The Dad (@thedad) 20 augustus 2018
Angel: they are making milk from almonds
God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from
A: they dont like that milk
God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*
Swordfish: my nose looks ridiculous.
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) 16 januari 2019
God: at least you have a cool name.
Swordfish: so?
God: I could have made you look ridiculous AND have a dumb name.
Swordfish: but why would you do that to someone?
Hammerhead Shark: yes God why would you do that to someone?
[creating babies]
— Patches (@Mostly_Cheese) 3 februari 2019
God: Make them tiny and fragile and defenseless, with weak immune systems.
Angel: Um OK ...
God: And make it their first instinct to put their mouths on shopping carts.
[God creating the ocean]
— flaubert flav (@themiltron) 8 juni 2015
GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere.
ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they—
GOD: Make it undrinkable.
[God making coconuts]
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) 3 februari 2019
ANGEL: Hair on the outside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: Milk on the inside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: So, this is another mammal?
GOD: [taking bong rip] lmao, no
[god creating seahorses]
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) 20 mei 2018
angel: any more ideas for animals?
god: ok, what if tiny saxophones could swim
[god creating mushrooms]
— Skoog (@Skoogeth) 23 juli 2018
god: some go on pizzas
angel: ooo tasty
god: some make you trip balls
angel: um
god: and some just fucking kill you
angel: you ok buddy?
*creation of the kangaroo*
— Gina (@ginadivittorio) 25 januari 2018
God: Okay so the deer was a big hit let’s work off that
Angel 1: What if it could carry it’s offspring with it for protection
God: Okay that’s kind of weak Sharon but we’ll add it
Angel 2: What if it could kick the shit out of you
God: There it is
[God creating animals]
— Prakhr Srivastav (@prakhrrrr) 13 februari 2018
God: I want to create a bag of evil.
Angel: And name it something really sweet.
Say hi to the 'Jelly Fish'
God: you’re basically the same animal but one of you is cuddly and cute, and the other is a lying backstabbing bastard.
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) 5 november 2018
Otter:
Weasel: I hope I’m the cute one.
GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) 27 januari 2019
ANGELS: [confused applause]